bi-polar Christian...

Life is so weird sometimes. Actually, I am so weird sometimes. I had told someone the other day that I have finally figured out what my deal is..I am a self diagnosed bi-polar Christian. I have seasons of total commitment and seasons of being somewhat lost. Seems I have a few months here and a few months there.... every now and again it comes in days instead of months.
I certainly don't desire to be that way, nor do I like it~ so why do I do it?? I love God, I love learning about him, about his plan of salvation, his utter love for mankind. I love Jesus, and am so thankful for what I am granted due to him and him alone. Things will just be going along great in my life. I have this sense of peace that is indescribable.... joy that leaps from my heart, a smile that will not fade.. and then it seems suddenly that I am so disconnected from everything. Though I still love God, though I still seek his will for my life, though I still believe everything I always have~~something is gone, and I feel like I don't know him anymore. I have come to realize that during those "dry times" I have quit my studies, I have slowed or even stopped reading the Bible, I have little to zilch of a prayer life. I don't know why. I don't know what makes me stop doing what I should be to maintain the relationship I have developed. I don't realize it is happening until it has happened, and I realize I lost my connection. I am in a study again, I am keeping my soul refreshed with the Word, I am talking everyday to God. This is where I always want to be. Why would I not do everything I can to be right here?