Life Struggles

I pretty much get along with everyone all the time. I have friends that are completly different from each other in all sorts of ways. I love them all dearly. I love people in general. I have a very forgiving heart. I cannot stand conflict. I don't hold grudges. I am a peacemaker.... That is why it is making me crazy that I cannot get along with this one particular person. I want to get along with them. I have the desire.... This person I am talking about can be the nicest caring person ever~ and yet this person can be so controlled by mean thoughts and hateful motives that it makes me nuts! The odd thing is, the person is not necessarily this way to me, but quite obviously is this way to others. I see it, and I cannot stand it. I have made effort to point some of it out, but they see nothing at all that they have done wrong. It makes me have really not nice thoughts.

Have any of you ever had a situation like that? It is hard at times to keep yourself disciplined to be nice, let alone holy! I feel like I have tried everything, and I am lost as to what to do. My husband tells me, "you just can't change some people, so you need to quit trying." He is right about that. BUT..... I didn't think I was trying to change the person, but maybe he is right about that too. Maybe I am trying to make this person be someone I can get along with instead of figuring out how to deal it and keep my own sanity.

I have prayed and prayed about it. I have failed many days of "loving the unlovable". I know that God is refining me and making me to be more like what He wants, by putting this in my life. I know that I obviously have not learned the lesson yet, as it keeps coming up.

It is amazing to me that I can allow one person to grate against me so much and yet I have overcome huge obstacles to be where I am. I am just going to ask you guys to please be praying about this with me. I just have to lay it out there, and lay myself out there and confess that I am truly struggling with this. I am sure that Satan is loving the emotions and feelings I am having. That alone should be great motivation for me to get past it! You know what.... maybe I will make that my focus. Everytime I have to deal with this person~~ and I feel those feelings creeping up on me~~ I will tell myself that I am child of God, and I refuse to allow Satan any glory.

I always feel better after being able to write and rationalize.