In the light

I have had time to absorb God's word over the last couple of weeks. It has been pleasant.

Sometimes we get so caught up, we just throw a few minutes here and there..but don't truly take the time to read, study, and absorb His word. It is sorta funny to me sometimes how I might have read something many many times over a vast number of years, and then BOOM. I understand what it says. God's word has this effect on me. I know that His word never changes...so it must be me!

I am so thankful that God has given that opportunity, to change. Not everyone allows it. Some people hold onto things that have happened, words said, wrong actions taken....... and they just keep on holding on. They can't see past the incident, and everything just stops for them there. I have been guilty of it myself. There was a person that I was like this with for years. YEARS, even after becoming a Christian. I heard her name and would cringe. The thought of her just made my blood get hot. It is so crazy. She has no idea the amount of time I have spent allowing a particular event to define her for me. She has no idea, and I seriously doubt that she cares at all. I however, kept it alive and updated. Refreshing my mind with continual bad thoughts and hurt feelings.

I can only imagine how horrible my life would be right now, if God were like that to me. If He never gave me another chance. If He didn't care to give me the opportunity to change. If He didn't even try to move past my failures, my sins.We should be following the example that was given us. We cannot be the same person we once were. We cannot assume other people are the same as they once were. It is like the Bible talks about in 1st John, the outside of the cup being clean, but the inside never touched. God looks to the inside, He looks to the heart. He knows your heart.

Do you need to give someone another chance? Do you maybe need to not give another chance, but let go of the hurt and anger and pain it caused you? Do it. Don't allow someone else to steal your JOY in Christ. You can't be in the dark and in the light.

Authentic Christianity

Authentic Christianity is the consistency between words and actions~ between claimed values and actual priorities. It is something I strive for, but have a long way to go to reach. I am working on it daily. Some days are better than others.

You have to truly connect with God to be authentic, not just go through the motions. It begins with spiritual authenticity`daily reserved time.

You have time for what you make time for.

Journaling helps to keep track of where you have been and what you are doing. It is like a post game analysis. It helps you to be authentic. Can you be conformed to the image of Christ without evaluating your progress or mistakes? Try writing out your prayers, your thoughts, your feelings, decisions, frustrations.... analyze your day, see where you can improve and where you did great!

whaddaya mean forgive them?

Sometimes it is not possible to live in peace with everyone, the problem is not always dependent upon what you do. However, we must make every effort to love a person that seems unlovable..
HOW?? Number one is that you have to forgive that person unconditionally. UNCONDITIONALLY, no strings attached. If you leave strings attached, you are not forgiving. You have to forgive them repeatedly if need be. Perhaps that will be a need on your part as thoughts creep into your head drowning out why you forgave them in the first place!! OR perhaps the person just does not "get it". Whatever the case, that choice is yours.
You have to take action on it; pray about it. Pray for enlightenment and for love for the individual. Ask to love them through Jesus... that may be the only way you can.
You cannot assume this persons' motives. Don't even try, unless they are with the best intentions. When you begin to decide for yourself what the motives are, you have just joined ranks with them. Step above that. Stand up tall.
Ask God to search your own heart as we are told in the scriptures to do. Ask him to search it and to reveal to you areas you may be able to change. Maybe you need more tolerance, patience, forgiveness...
Pray before you enter a stormy situation, pray when you are there, pray when you leave it... If you don't ask for the help, you have a high chance of not getting it. We have total free choice with God, if you chose to do it on your own..well, that is your choice. Don't think about how much it hurts you, think about how much they need forgivness. Don't be an enemy even if you have one.
I am typically very quick to forgive. That has not always been the case. God has been working on me though, and I see how much better it is to forgive and forget than to hold on to something that can eat you alive. I am certainly not encouraging anyone to be blind or ignorant~~certain things, certain people, certain places..are just best to stay away from. But given the opportunity to restore a Godly relationship that has gone astray, I think God would back you all the way! Don't worry about what others think(perhaps their hearts are hardened?), they are not going to be there to answer for you, to take your punishment, or to take your crown when we come face to face with the one whose thoughts truly matter. Do what is right, because it is right, you don't need any other reason. Do you have someone you need to forgive today? Do you have a relationship that needs restored? Pray about it, and don't toss God's reply around. Act on it. They may or may not accept it, you can still refuse to be an enemy. Either way is going to be okay..you do what YOU should and let God handle the rest. love, love, love to all of you!

"connecting" to God

I have basically been living life on my own lately, like totally on my own. Though God desires to be a part, I have kept myself secluded from him for about two weeks now. I don't know why. I do know how though, I lost my "connection".

I read a story last night about this guy that couldn't get his car to start. Ended up that the battery cable connections were totally corroded. The junk causing the corrison was blocking the ability of the power to reach the battery.
There virtually was no connection.

This same thing happens to us sometimes. We don't even realize that this corrosion is building. It can be a slow process, it can be a fast process. Nothing even has to be in the way of the connection, we just don't use it, so we lose it. Our connection is lost, and the power just doesn't come through. All we have to do is clear the path. The power is there waiting to be tapped into. Sometimes you don't even realize that the corrosion is occurring. Then one day you realize that something in your life is missing. You don't have that same spark you did. You lose touch~ you slow your Bible reading, you quit praying.... you lose your connection.

I lost my connection. I never lost my faith, but I lost my close realtionship. I am thankful to God that I have the connection back now. He knew just what I needed, at just the right time. I am so thankful that He continues to pursue me, even when I don't keep in touch. Thanks God for putting the people and circumstances in my life that drive me to you. I love you!

Somebody is Praying for You

I read this (below) this morning, and had to smile... how thankful I am that others have loved me enough to pray for me! Never under estimate the power of intercessory prayer!!

www.StreamingFaith.com

May 08, 2008

Somebody is Praying for You

by Bishop Keith Butler

For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith. Romans 12:3 (KJV)

We need to give credit where credit is due. You may be very blessed. And if you are, know this: it is not you that caused it. You are blessed because God blessed you. That is the opinion you ought to have of yourself. Realize that your blessings did not start and end with you. They started and ended with God. Somebody has been praying for you, and it was their prayers that brought you through.

The way God does things sometimes astonishes me. With God, it does not matter how much you learned in school. It does not matter how good you can scheme and maneuver the business deal. It does not matter how eloquent your speech is. That is not what's putting you over. What's putting you over is that God has blessed you in spite of yourself. Somebody who has gone on before you prayed for you to be blessed.

Some of us had mothers, grandmothers and great-grandmothers that prayed for God's mercy to be extended toward us. Some of us are still living off the prayers and blessings of great-grandparents that we have never even met.
To think soberly is being aware that God has somebody praying for you right now in the midnight hour. They are praying and interceding for you so that mercy could come your way. So, when you fall down and hit your face on the pavement of life, God has somebody praying for you.
When you keep everything in proper perspective, you can think soberly, understanding that God and only God gets the glory for all the good in your life. God is good all the time.
Give glory to His holy name!

Scripture Reference: Romans 13:7; Matthew 22:21

Make it a Goal..to Ensure Eternal Life

HI ! I arrived yesterday in Tuscon, it is awesome, beautiful, cool (like "neato" cool, not cool cool),.... We have been very busy learning, learning, learning!! Not alot of down time, and not very good wireless access so far. Bear with me if this cuts me off in mid post!!
I posted an email below that I received from my nephew and niece. I would appreciate you guys reading it and praying for them and considering to assist financially in any way God leads you.

I finally got to attend my church yesterday! I was so glad! I enjoyed the church I went to with my mother -in-law while she was unable to drive, but it just isn't the same as fellowship with people you have made relationships with at your home church...people you have prayed with, prayed for, and who have prayed for you. I have had a great time visiting Owen Valley Christian Fellowship! I loved there services! I hope to implement some of their style into our own services. I loved how friendly everyone was & seeing the many smiling faces. I'll have to say that if I did not have a home church, I would certainly attend there! I am glad to be back "home" again :-)

One thing this past Sunday that really stood out in my mind that our pastor talked about was, ( not quoting.. just summing it up) when I see what extremes people will go to, to ensure they have more time left here on this earth in their earthly body~ what they sacrifice for a life that will end in a few years no matter what... I wonder what they will do to ensure that they are going to eternity? He talked about the guy that broke and cut off his own arm to ensure escape from being trapped under a boulder. How hard it was, yet necessary to ensure that life did not end there on that mountain top.

What would you do to ensure your life eternal? Are you doing it, are you thinking about it, are you acting upon it?

A process....

I was baptized nearly 20 years ago. That saddens me. It saddens me because I realize now that I did it out of a legalism thing, instead of out of my heart. It was what I was supposed to do.

I went to church regularly during that time of my life, but I never had a relationship with Christ. I never even knew there was any difference in going to church, and having a relationship. I know now that LOTS of people go to church, not half as many have a relationship .... I was one of them, for a long time. I eventually quit going to church (probably due to lack of relationship). The really scary saddest part of all is that I taught Sunday school... I helped with the youth, I taught at vacation bible school. I went to church Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night.... Yet I knew nothing. NOTHING. I was not a Christian in the Bible sense of the word. I was a Christian in the worldly sense of the word...if that makes sense. The honest truth is, I had no idea I was a "fake".

If you knew me then, forgive me for making claims I knew nothing about. Forgive me for being such a poor example. I was doing the best I could with what knowledge I had. Thank God that He lingered around me...He never gave up. He is revealing himself and His word to me continuously. It is a process. I am loving the trip!

creative writing assignment...

This is a letter I wrote while doing some "creative writing" . I was supposed to be writing an essay about having died.... what would I have wanted to tell those I left behind.
I thought this blog and would be a perfect avenue to tell you all right NOW, what I would have wished I had said before departing.


To my wonderful family and friends,
I know where I am going and for this I am glad. So many people have had direct influence on my ability to reach the ultimate destination. The one that sealed my eternity though, was Jesus.

Many of you know Him, many of you know OF Him. I am imploring with all of you to make it your top priority to develop a relationship with Him. Don’t wait until you die to learn how you should have lived. As Jim Elliott said, “He is no fool, who gives what he cannot keep, to gain what he cannot lose.”

I spent so much of my life being afraid of what others would think or say… of being ridiculed. There is nothing anyone can say or do that will affect your life more than accepting Jesus as your own personal savior. Now, from beyond, let me tell you how thankful I am that God never gives up on us. He holds nothing against us. Once we confess our sin and ask for forgiveness, it is done! You have nothing to prove to God. He already knows all you have done… good and bad. There is no hiding, no amount of wrong doing. No sin is great enough that would turn his back on you. Sin is sin, a lie, speeding, cheating, and even taking a life. They hold the same weight in God’s eye. To have you in his fold though, that is more important to Him than anything.

The bible, God’s word tells us of amazing things yet to come. We have only been exposed to a small fraction of what truly awaits us. Don’t risk not getting to enjoy it all. Don’t sacrifice your soul for earthly pleasures. I want to see you again. I want to laugh and touch your arm, see your smile.. I want to share a life with you where there are no deadlines, no worries, and no pain.

There is so much I need to say, so much I want you to know. But there is nothing more crucial I can share with you than to open your bible, read God’s word, pray…and ask Jesus into your heart. Confess your sins, ALLOW them to be forgiven, accept your eternal life. Continue this relationship regardless of anything else.

Not sure how to maintain it? Do it just like any other relationship. God wants nothing more from you than you would want out of a relationship. No one knows how long they are going to remain alive here on earth. Ask God for the strength and wisdom to help you live wisely. Seek His will; be convicted through His spirit of your sins…..

Keep your eye on the prize and be ready upon leaving this earth to hear your heavenly father say, “Well done my good and faithful servant, come in…come in!”

Joseph Victor Stowinsky

Uncle Joe went to be with the Lord on Friday, March 7, 2008. His family was with him, he was comfortable..in peace, and just waiting for his call.

It is amazing to me how God can take hurt and turn it into something far bigger than you could have imagined when it all began. Joe's life touched many lives, and his passing has and will continue to do the same. So many lives are being reconciled even right now through the passing of Joe.

As I see the fresh grief and pain in his family, of losing someone you love, I cannot help but be brought to think of God's pain in giving the life of His Son, for us. To reconcile us to Him. He didn't have to, but that is how much He loves each and every one of us. It was a huge sacrifice, the blood of Jesus was spilled for all of us our of pure love. He took on every sin, He bore them, He paid the price...in many ways, even humanly, He paid with His own grief and pain. Never forget how much that had to of crushed God's own heart.

Dear God, thank you for Joe~ thank you for blessing him and through him, blessing us! Thank you for giving us eternal life through your Son.. so that we can be reconciled to you and be reconciled to Joe.

http://findingyourselfbylosingyourself.blogspot.com/2008/01/when-you-just-dont-understand.html

Prayer Time

Let Prayer Change Your Life by Becky Tirabassi




This book has been loaned to me by a friend. It has been totally amazing. It is very simply written and yet the effects are profound. I can relate with this author, and see how she is changing lives all around the globe.

Just as Gordom MacDonald talks about in his book, Ordering My Private World... of scheduling your time, Becky talks about the same. She quotes MacDonald several times.

To sum things up in the book~ She is telling us how crucial it is to set aside the time to be with God. It doesn't have to be a certain time everyday, but she suggest the morning, as to start your day off right! One thing that she said that really really hit home for me is that if we had an appointment schdeuled with our pastor, or boss, or whomever~ We would not just ditch them because we were tired, or something else came up. We need to schedule God in for some one on one.
We can talk to Him all day long, but He deserves and desires time alone with us..to converse.
Becky also has a particular notebook she uses for her prayer time. It is in a three ring binder so that she can add to it..and also take out and store as it gets full. She has different tabbed sections, which you will have to read more about in her book. If you wanted to start one prior to reading her book, you could begin with some tabs titled; Praise, Thanks, Admissions, Request.... That would get you started. Also have time to read some scripture during your prayer time. She suggest Proverbs, one each day. Allow God to talk to you as part of this time as well. It may be through His word, it may be a conviction you feel. You may hear him telling you something. Write down what you feel God is speaking to you. You go to each section and write your prayer for that particular title. You can add to it.. you can move things from request to praise.... READ the book, it will tell you how to set it up.

I officially began my notebook Friday. Thursday evening I decided that I would have to schedule it in before work, as I wasn't sure I would promise and hold to my time if I did it in the evening. (So much stuff comes up!) I set the alarm for an hour early, with full belief that I had an appointment with God at 5:30.
I am not a morning person especially THAT early..but I looked at it in a new light, and did not want to miss that appointment!! I got up went to my reading spot, and began. Becky suggest setting aside an hour each day for this. I am working through my prayer journal, and I come to the time to read Proverbs. I am reading and I come to 8:17, "Those who seek me early and diligently shall find me!" The Proverb went on to say that whoever finds me, finds life and obtains favor from the Lord.
I was like a little kid.... I wrote that down as what I felt God was saying to me. Those who seek me early.... I was thinking, 5:30 is early! I feel confirmed in this! I smile and nod my head, yep! He is talking to me here! I am finding favor with God!(I get a little excited sometimes)

Well anyway, my morning goes on and nothing goes right. I end up barely clocking into work on time. As all the things were going wrong, I was thinking to myself, I am going to have to change the prayer time. It makes me too rushed in the morning blah blah blah. So I get to work and within the first hour of being there my director is suggesting to me how either I or my coworker really need to stagger our hours a bit and one of us come in an hour later and stay an hour later. BINGO! Though I believe that Satan was trying to discourage me from this hour of prayer, God just gave me the extra hour I needed! God 1 Satan 0
so yeah, I am going to let prayer change my life!! READ THE BOOK

Love One Another

Last night at the Beth Moore study we talked about our bodies being holy vessels. They are created by God and they contain the Holy Spirit within them. God declares us as HOLY. Satan will work on convincing us this is not true. He works in many ways as we all know. However Beth made some great points last night that I want to share with all of you.

Satan's goal is to use you, and have you use your holy vessel for unholy things. He will make you think you are not holy. You will begin to act like you are not holy. We act how we think. Have you ever heard someone, or even been the one saying, " I'm not good enough" "I don't deserve it" "God can't forgive me" even as deep as saying, "I don't want to live anymore" Heard anything like it??

That is Satan on the prowl...beginning to attack. He is making a weak spot in your armour that he can break through. He is pecking away and will continue to peck as long as you allow it. Nothing thrills the devil more that seeing God's children bow to the devil himself.

After I wrote the post below...as the day went on, I realized it is an area of my life that Satan wants control. I have been real close to letting him have it, have even forfeited some hours...some days to him. I have been letting myself be convinced that I cannot overcome this problem. I have been allowing myself to feel unholy for it. He has been whispering to me and I have been falling for it. Satan does this in all areas of our lives, but especially in the realtionship area. God made us to love. He commanded us to love. If you think about it, what is one thing that would make Satan smile?? Us, breaking the commandment God says is greater than any other. To love one another. You think that the devil wouldn't work his rear off to cause us to do that? Oh yeah....he most certainly would!

Life Struggles

I pretty much get along with everyone all the time. I have friends that are completly different from each other in all sorts of ways. I love them all dearly. I love people in general. I have a very forgiving heart. I cannot stand conflict. I don't hold grudges. I am a peacemaker.... That is why it is making me crazy that I cannot get along with this one particular person. I want to get along with them. I have the desire.... This person I am talking about can be the nicest caring person ever~ and yet this person can be so controlled by mean thoughts and hateful motives that it makes me nuts! The odd thing is, the person is not necessarily this way to me, but quite obviously is this way to others. I see it, and I cannot stand it. I have made effort to point some of it out, but they see nothing at all that they have done wrong. It makes me have really not nice thoughts.

Have any of you ever had a situation like that? It is hard at times to keep yourself disciplined to be nice, let alone holy! I feel like I have tried everything, and I am lost as to what to do. My husband tells me, "you just can't change some people, so you need to quit trying." He is right about that. BUT..... I didn't think I was trying to change the person, but maybe he is right about that too. Maybe I am trying to make this person be someone I can get along with instead of figuring out how to deal it and keep my own sanity.

I have prayed and prayed about it. I have failed many days of "loving the unlovable". I know that God is refining me and making me to be more like what He wants, by putting this in my life. I know that I obviously have not learned the lesson yet, as it keeps coming up.

It is amazing to me that I can allow one person to grate against me so much and yet I have overcome huge obstacles to be where I am. I am just going to ask you guys to please be praying about this with me. I just have to lay it out there, and lay myself out there and confess that I am truly struggling with this. I am sure that Satan is loving the emotions and feelings I am having. That alone should be great motivation for me to get past it! You know what.... maybe I will make that my focus. Everytime I have to deal with this person~~ and I feel those feelings creeping up on me~~ I will tell myself that I am child of God, and I refuse to allow Satan any glory.

I always feel better after being able to write and rationalize.

Jesus is the Bridge

Our Pastor got me interested in author, Erwin Lutzer. I am almost finished with my second book of his, and have been very motivated to keep it in my hands. This particular book is about death, and what happens. I don't know that I believe every single things he says, but most all of it is bible based, and makes total sense to me.

A question he ask is; What is life except preparation for eternity?

He talks about death and how powerless is truly it is. He also reminds us that it is only through death that we can go to God up until the resurrection, and that He never ask us to go someplace He has not already gone himself. "Rather than Rid us of our wealth, it introduces us to riches eternal." (Lutzer, on speaking of death)

In the Beth Moore study this week she talked about death as a transition from this life as we know it, into a glorious life we have only heard about. She spoke of death as the same as basically taking a coat off..then walking on through. You just drop the coat and keep on walking with no hesitation. In the bible even Jesus himself tells us that on that day, the very day we die..we will go to be with Him. Luke 24:43 There are many other references to that same fact in the bible.
The bible also refers to dying as going to sleep. We go to sleep and then wake up in the arms of the Lord, we should not fear that. Ewrin Lutzer talks about how sometimes if is hard for us to fall asleep..if we aren't tired. He goes on to say that those who enjoy good health, a fulfilling vocation, wholesome family life~ they aren't necessarily looking forward to going to sleep... because they aren't tired, they aren't ready. They want some more time. A big reason for that is that the other side of life is unknown for the most part. We fear the unknown. Once however a person arrives on the other side...they have no qualms about staying there. They want everyone else to come!!

We get attached here to this place, but it is not truly our home. Grace in dying does not mean that we will be free from sorrow. They can bury our body, BUT they cannot bury us. Christ wept at the tomb of Lazarus, He cried out and asked for His own death to be delayed. He understands!! Grief is how we heal. It is to be expected. Your presence and your tears may bring more comfort to a grieving person than anything else. It shows them that you care. Words can't always convey that.

Romans 8:18 tells us to live with heaven in mind. The way to to do this is to learn how God wants you to live, what He desires of you. If you read the bible it is clear that God desires a relationship with each and everyone of us. He has made a "bridge" (given us a saviour) so to speak, that crosses over straight to Him. That bridge (saviour) is Jesus. Through His blood, sacrificed for us...we are reconciled to a Holy God, even though we have not personally earned it. God request that we do one thing. ONE THING, accept Jesus as your bridge (saviour). Acknowledge that you cannot cross over on your own. Start with that tiny bit of faith, and God will multiply it. When you think about the fact that we can spend eternity together and with God in heaven by having this faith, why would you not want to confess that?

As I witnessed myself first hand this week, life does not consist in duration, but donation. Live a life that is pleasing to God. Use your God given talents to live with heaven in mind. Work toward the goal and then you will be ready when He calls you home.

It's not about ME

Isaiah 44:2 " I am your creator. You were in my care even before you were born." No birth is by mistake or mishap. God custom made you. He determined your talents, He designed your body. You were made for a reason. He put you here in this time for a purpose. He has already decided how long you will live. Our lives are in His hands, and they always have been. (Psalms 139:16)

Even though we are being bombarded daily..almost by the minute, of making it "all about me", that is not what it is all about. If you spend your time focusing on YOU, and how YOU can make things better for YOU... YOU are missing all that life has to offer! You are missing God's whole plan for the universe. You do not have the capability to know what is best, without asking God's input. He created you, He knows what is best for you. He knows what you are designed for.

It is almost enough to make me laugh out loud now at how much I thought I was making ME happy, by doing what I wanted. I got stuck in a cycle about 10 or 12 years ago, of being very ME centered. The whole thing of " I'm not happy". I need to do what I need to do to make ME happy. Let me tell you right now that the things I choose to do were stupid, and brought no true happiness to my life. They brought me momentary good feelings, that almost destroyed my life as I know it. I got so sucked into doing what made ME feel good, that became my focus. I pretty much acted like God did not even exist. It was "all about me". The thing that is most upsetting to me now, is that I kept being like this, and yet never finding happiness. I became so conditioned by society to focus on myself... I just kept right on trying to find my happiness. The thing that I had no idea of was that my happiness wasn't dependent upon me. What brings true happiness and peace to your life is a life that is pleasing to God. When I switched gears...after allowing myself to sink to despair (from all of this great happiness I was bringing myself), when I changed focus and put ME on the back burner for awhile~ amazingly I started feeling totally different. The more I did it, the better I felt. I started asking God to guide me, to show me, to comfort me. All the feelings I had so strongly desired to bring myself, God brought to me.

Focus on what is truly most important in life and your life will be forever changed. I can give you a hint, these things will not be things. They will not be status. They will not be on a social ladder or an economical ladder. They will not be something you can purchase. These things will be given to you freely and abundantly. All you have to do is receive.

When You Just Don't Understand

I have been asked several times in recent days about why God would allow this to happen or that to happen. I would love to be able to give an answer and bring comfort to those that are hurting..to make them immediately be able to comprehend, and not fear the circumstance. The problem is, I can't. I don't know why.

Some things just cannot be understood, they are a mystery to us~ for now. I firmly believe however that God does have a plan in things that happen good or bad. I don't think he makes things happen that are bad as a punishment of any sort, nor that he causes bad. I do think that at times he allows bad to happen, and then he uses it for good in the end. I think much of the bad that happens today is caused by poor decisions people make on their own accord. Me included. When we are not walking in the path of light...I think it is clear that the boat is going to rock. God has given us a pretty detailed guide book, that in most instances spells out how to live, yet we tend to ignore it. Satan is also in much of this. He can prod our minds....our thoughts, and lead us down a path that only causes destruction. If he sees you getting close to God, trust that satan is going to bring some hairy situations your way!
God though, can take a situation that is bad and turn it into good. I have seen this happen in my own life more than once.

We have some wonderful people we have known for many years. We met them at a church we attended many years ago. We met them while going to church, yet before we had a true relationship with Christ. They stood out to both my husband and I as just really nice people. You thought of them and a smile just came to your face. Well, we lost contact with them over the years. During those years, my husband and I drifted quite a bit ourselves. We were in no way living by the guidelines God had given us. We were not "bad" people, but we were not walking in the light either.

Well, two years ago this couple lost their son, Luke, in an auto accident. We were driving to the funeral home, and I felt overcome by a need to get back into the church. I can't explain the almost urgency of my feelings. We went in to see these parents, and they brought comfort to us. They brought comfort to us!! We all cried together, but they..even in their mourning, brought hope to my heart.
Their son had recommitted his own life to Christ in the year before the accident. They knew where he was, and knew they would be reunited. They were devastated at the loss, but so grateful that he was a child of the King! That night, I laid myself out on the line with God. I wanted what they had. I have never looked back.

This was a bad thing, a sad thing, a hurtful thing..... BUT, God used it for good. I don't know how many other lives were affected by that family, but I know that my life was turned around. I was reunited with the King myself. In turn I want to bring others with me. In doing this, I honor Luke, and I honor God. I am sure that at the moment our friends learned of the loss of their son, it was not a moment of rejoicing. But, when I recently spoke with them, they were rejoicing at the possibility of how many lives have been and will be saved through their son's death.

This is just one example, there are many more, even in my own life. Sometimes God is teaching us something, or strengthening us, preparing us....testing us.
People may not be able to see any good when they are in the middle of the hurt, the crisis. However, in looking back.... you can surely see the providence of God.

Blessings for the New Year!!

I am so excited about the upcoming year! I plan to make it the best I have ever had as an individual, as a wife, as a mom, as a friend....as a child of God. I feel the best I have ever felt going into a new year! I am so excited about what God may have in store for me and my family! I feel peace in my soul, my heart is light, and my desire to serve is greater than ever!

One of the things this past year has shown me more than anything at all, is how good God truly is and what an amazing difference He truly can make in your life. Even though trials have come my way... and they have threatened to knock me flat~ God has seen me through and given me even more confidence and good than the trial tried to take away. Everything isn't perfect, but I can deal with everything. I don't find myself sinking into a pit like I may have (and did) a few years ago. I can see past RIGHT NOW. I have hope for my future. I have faith in the promises that have been made to me!

Some people have a hard time believing that merely asking Jesus into your heart, can make such a huge difference in your life...but I tell you, it does! It doesn't happen over night. In time though, as you draw closer and establish the relationship offered freely to all of us.... God will lay it upon your heart to make changes.
The changes will vary in all of us depending upon what it is in your life that needs changing. It may just be your thought process. It may be much deeper. I know that I had a lot of changes to make. Many I did not even know about until after I committed my life to Him. I used to basically make fun of people telling me that God had changed their heart. I would think... "yikes!, great..another religious nut I am going to have to listen to." I am sure God was having His own laugh at me!
Then, it began happening to me.

He changes your heart, trust me. He changes your thoughts, your convictions, your vision, your ability to just love even when you don't want to. He makes changes, oh wow~~ how he makes changes.

Thanks to each and everyone of you who have been a part of this whole process while He has been changing me. Here is to the best year yet! May we all strive to be under God's will... God's plan for our lives. This year may be the last, this DAY may be the last~~
I want to live with no regrets. I hope you will join me. Have a Blessed New Year! xoxo M

GOALS

So, How many of you have set goals for this new year? I set a goal last year, that I am going to continue to work on this year, as I am far from reaching it.

I have other goals as well. This one particular goal that I set though, is being authentically Christian... It still escapes me at times. I find myself getting so close to God, and being as I should...and then~ I fall back down again. When I look at my life compared to a year ago, it is much more in line with God's desire. I know that I can never each perfection, but I should be able to be authentic in all situations..no matter what!

The other day at work, I was not too authentically Christian. I was very authentically human though.
I allow myself to be pulled into such pettiness. I want to rise above it, and many times I can. There are times though that I fall right down to their level. I have been focusing alot on the book of Jude this past week. I believe that God gave it to me at this time to remind me that though there are grumblers, and those who stir up trouble and cause divisions.... We have to have mercy but show caution when we are around these people. We cannot allow ourselves to get sucked in. I have been doing just that.... allowing myself to be sucked in. I say allowing, because even though it is human nature, at some point my spiritual nature has got to be given control of my human nature. Instead, I determine when/what is going to guide me. This has to stop, and in all situations I have to get my guidance from God.

A friend of mine jokingly told me to just be sure to ask forgiveness later. Another friend then said, " As Paul said in Corinthians... so do you just going on sinning...." Immediately the Holy Spirit convicted me of what I was doing..what I was saying. I did ask forgiveness, and I am sure that God will forgive me as well as deal with me accordingly for the childishness. He will also expect me to repent and learn from the situation.

Second Corinthians 4:8-9 says: "We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;"
Jesus said in John 15:18-19: "If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. "If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you."

I read this earlier today; "The enemy will put pressure on you when you attempt to reach your goal. But you can handle it. Jesus did. You are in good company. In fact, you are running with the best. He has already warned you. If they persecuted Him they will persecute you."

So yeah, I am keeping that goal... it is a "roll -over" goal, that I intend (through the power of the God) to have even more control over next year.

Situations may arise in which you are unable to figure out what to do. We all have encountered this at one time or another in our lives. When you are walking in the Word and by the Holy Spirit you have divine, inside information to meet your goal. If you are steadfast, standing through the persecution, deliverance is at hand. You can obtain your goals.

Sometimes You Have to Turn OFF the Words!

I had to stop reading and come journal in this! I am one of those people who think because it is making a deep connection with me, it will with others as well..... So I must share! This is a mix of notes and memory...so bear with me.

I am reading "Lifestyle Evangelism" by Joe Aldrich. It appears to be written in 1981 (another great second hand store find). I feel like it is speaking to me so clearly! I kept making notes and notes, and more notes.... then I just had to stop and come write.

It is explaining Christ's model of evangelism.... visualization and verbalization of truth. John 1:14 says, "The word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth."
This verse can become our model of evangelism.
purpose: to glorify God;
strategy: to incarnate truth (to become flesh);
methodology: to be full of grace and truth.

It hit me a few minutes ago, It seriously is that simple to evangelize! Outsiders to faith are first drawn to Christians, and then to Christ! You have to be good news, before you can share good news. It is all about walking the talk. It is simply expressing what I possess in Christ by my actions and words. (visualization and verbalization, just like Christ did) It is displaying His love, righteousness, justice, and faithfulness~~ through our everyday life. It is not a special activity... it is constant and spontaneous.

Christ did not just talk about love, He loved. He didn't just preach on forgiveness, He forgave. He didn't just proclaim the necessity of justice and righteousness, he demanded it and exposed it. He lived among them. He was one of us. He was full of truth and grace. Not condemnation and legalistic beliefs, truth and grace.

I am reading this, and thinking...oh my word, I can do this! I certainly need to be working on the grace showing.... How in the world do I plan to lead another to Christ, and yet let my heart be filled with envy, revenge, or anger? What are my actions showing my fellow man?

I have to ask myself...Is this bringing glory to God; incarnating truth; or being full of grace and truth? Remember that Jesus gave us the perfect example to evangelize in John 1:14. You can study this, and should, but you also must be willing to BECOME it.

In his book, the author tells us, " The music of the gospel is the beauty of the indwelling Christ as lived out in everyday relationships in life. When the world observes this, they have heard the music. Sometimes we have to shut off the words and just play the music."

The Hebrew word for truth is emeth. The root verb means to be secure, solid, or firm. Are you representing the gospel in truth?

Love....love, one another

I saw this written somewhere to day:

"Our motives and behavior are extremely important to God."

Now this is nothing new to me, it just seems it is jumping out all around me...as I am having some difficulties in that area right now. I am aware of it. I am trying to not let it be.... I think God is just making sure I am aware of it.

I will be honest about it.....People who have bold personalities, are difficult for me to deal with. It is just the way they are, and I know... more than likely they mean nothing by it, so I don't know why I let it stir me up, but I do. I really don't think they mean what they say as hateful or condemning..... It is just a different personality, so it hard for me to understand sometimes. I am sure I again am finding false motives, and allowing those false motives to work their way into my emotions....

I also know that everything in my relationship with Christ is a process...As I become more like Him, these types of things will have less and less impact on me. Until then though, I have got to concentrate on acting in love. If all of my thoughts, words, and actions are guided by the simple commandment of love... I will keep growing each day, and get closer to the goal. Love motivates us to obey, pray, be kind and merciful, forgive, repent, and practice the other aspects of our Christian faith.

God is love. When love is the goal of our lives, God is the goal of our lives.

Imagine what the day would hold if all of us showed love like God shows for us, as we should be doing. What a peaceful day that would be!

Real Relationships

We have been fortunate to come into the acquaintance of some really awesome people this past year. What a blessing to be able to really develop a relationship with another couple and be able to totally be yourself... in everything! We both have many individual friends that are terrific..that we love to spend time with, but it is just special to have another couple to share together with. It does not matter about the good or the bad....we like them for them, and vice versa. We have a great time together, and are coming closer to the Lord as we come closer together as a group. I am really excited about this. I have never before felt so comfortable in a group setting to discuss the truly important issues of life. We joke around too.... but it is all in good faith ! It doesn't matter what we discuss each of us always have something to say, each of us are always willing to listen. We care about each other. We care about what happens to each other, and we desire to maintain the relationship. We make time to spend together, we do things for each other. We give and we take. We do not take for granted that if we do not make time for each other, if we don't talk or get together.... We don't assume the relationship will stay where it is~ nor do we think it would go any further. As I said, we give and we take.

This relationship is much like the relationship God desires with each of us. You do not just become comfortable and at ease talking to each other when it is done on a seldom basis. You don't have the deep feelings and desires to please the other person either. The more you do these things though, the closer you get and the more you want to be together. Soon the relationship becomes a part of you. The day does not seem right unless you have spoken to this person. Somehow a calmness comes about you when you are in their presence.

At first it may seem awkward... you don't know each other well. It becomes more and more natural though. It becomes deep.... It becomes a desire, a must, a way of life. Take time to talk to God today. Take time to listen to God today. As you feel ready, or prompted by Him~ ask about this relationship, take it to the next level. Just be ready, because He already is. He is ready and waiting on you.