I am feeling weird today, and I am not sure why. I have been trying to search myself and figure out what is going on. I am not sure, but I think perhaps that God is trying to show me something or tell me something.
I have been at a fast pace this week. I have had the week off from the hospital, but have worked harder than I would have there. I feel consumed to get things in order. I have gotten up at my normal time each day and have done my best to accomplish as much as possible with what time I have available. Each day though, I have been sick~ nauseated...weak, just not myself.
I have no idea what is going on, but I sense that God is trying to speak to me...yet I am so consumed with what is in front of me, I can't hear him. I took a long hot bath a little while ago. I turned the jets on, let the water roar, and closed my eyes. I tried to only focus on what He may be telling me.
This is what I got; s l o w down. breathe. figure out your focus. what are you doing right now that is truly important. how can you help others to hear, when you are not taking the time yourself. you want me to fill you with my power and yet you are doing nothing with it. if you don't know what i am telling you and showing you, how can you tell others. take the time to spend with me. let's re-establish our own relationship, then focus on the others. don't become so engrossed with religion that you lose sight of what is important..what is true. don't forget your first love.
These are the verses that are ringing in my mind, I am certain God is speaking to me through this.
Revelation 2:2-13 2I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. 3You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. 4Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. 5Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place. 6But you have this in your favor: You hate the practices of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate. 7He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God.
8"To the angel of the church in Smyrna write: These are the words of him who is the First and the Last, who died and came to life again. 9I know your afflictions and your poverty—yet you are rich! I know the slander of those who say they are Jews and are not, but are a synagogue of Satan. 10Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer. I tell you, the devil will put some of you in prison to test you, and you will suffer persecution for ten days. Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you the crown of life. 11He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. He who overcomes will not be hurt at all by the second death.
12"To the angel of the church in Pergamum write: These are the words of him who has the sharp, double-edged sword. 13I know where you live—where Satan has his throne. Yet you remain true to my name. You did not renounce your faith in me, even in the days of Antipas, my faithful witness, who was put to death in your city—where Satan lives.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Just Walk Across the Room
Can it be that simple? Someone's destiny, held up in our ability to take a walk across the room?
Our retreat went well~ We had almost 50 people attend, and things seem to go rather smoothly. I know the highlight for myself was getting to listen to Patti Gault sing and talk. She did an amazing job, and touched hearts for a long time to come. Thanks so much Patti!!
Patti is my cousin. Until about 18 months ago, I had not seen her for perhaps 30 years. Her mom and my dad are sister and brother.
I don't know how or why the families lost contact, but praise to God that we have been able to be reunited! Patti has an awesome testimony of God's faithfulness and His ability and desire to watch out for us, even when we think He isn't there.
Our retreat was on a book by Bill Hybels, Just Walk Across the Room. There is a DVD that that breaks this study up into four sessions. Each session gives us real life examples of how someone was brought to Christ by the mere gesture of reaching out in friendship and allowing yourself to be guided by the Holy Spirit.
You do not have to be an expert, a scholar, a pastor, or even close to any of that to bring someone to Christ. You have to care. You have to listen. You have to develop a relationship (if it calls for it). You have to be willing to do what God desires of you. God will do the work, God will put you where He wants you and He will even give you the words to say. Your job is to be the one to walk across the room..... We can all do this! It may take a year, or ten years in some cases. Be willing to be a laborer and not have to see the end result. The goal is to plant the seed, allow the Spirit to work, and let God reap the harvest.
It is not about religion, it is not about politics~ it is about God and investing in another soul for the sake of eternity. Their sake.
Thank God that a person took that walk for Patti. The two of us may not have been able to share our lives together on this earth, but how awesome that we will have eternity together! I love you Patti ~Forever, and when I say forever, I mean f o r e v e r
Our retreat went well~ We had almost 50 people attend, and things seem to go rather smoothly. I know the highlight for myself was getting to listen to Patti Gault sing and talk. She did an amazing job, and touched hearts for a long time to come. Thanks so much Patti!!
Patti is my cousin. Until about 18 months ago, I had not seen her for perhaps 30 years. Her mom and my dad are sister and brother.
I don't know how or why the families lost contact, but praise to God that we have been able to be reunited! Patti has an awesome testimony of God's faithfulness and His ability and desire to watch out for us, even when we think He isn't there.
Our retreat was on a book by Bill Hybels, Just Walk Across the Room. There is a DVD that that breaks this study up into four sessions. Each session gives us real life examples of how someone was brought to Christ by the mere gesture of reaching out in friendship and allowing yourself to be guided by the Holy Spirit.
You do not have to be an expert, a scholar, a pastor, or even close to any of that to bring someone to Christ. You have to care. You have to listen. You have to develop a relationship (if it calls for it). You have to be willing to do what God desires of you. God will do the work, God will put you where He wants you and He will even give you the words to say. Your job is to be the one to walk across the room..... We can all do this! It may take a year, or ten years in some cases. Be willing to be a laborer and not have to see the end result. The goal is to plant the seed, allow the Spirit to work, and let God reap the harvest.
It is not about religion, it is not about politics~ it is about God and investing in another soul for the sake of eternity. Their sake.
Thank God that a person took that walk for Patti. The two of us may not have been able to share our lives together on this earth, but how awesome that we will have eternity together! I love you Patti ~Forever, and when I say forever, I mean f o r e v e r
Friday, February 15, 2008
thoughts
OF NOTE : Our Women's retreat has arrived! It is tonight and tomorrow. I am looking foward to it ! I want to ask all of you to please say a prayer that through the material God has given us, we are able to touch lives. Be praying that minds and hearts are opened...seeds are planted and great fellowship is had by all! Please pray over all of us coordinating the event, that we honor God and are giving the wisdom to make an impact.
As we continue with our study of Daniel, I am reminded constantly of how much our world is the same as it was hundreds of years ago. We have the same types of battles and situations going on now that we did then.
Something that sticks out in my mind this week is our priviliged enviorment. The things we have to come to expect and demand. The attitudes of people that think their lives are sooo hard, because they have never known what hard really is. We whine and cry over such mundane things it is really sad when you look at the whole picture of the world we live in. We are paying money to get cosmetic treatments, and then we are whining about how it hurt.... these types of things are major issues to some of us. It is sad. It is pititful.
My friend was telling me of a documentary she watched recently. It had a segment showing how some of the tribes in Africa were making mud cakes. These mud cakes were to eat for their nourishment. They added a little oil and a little water, and actually had this for their meal. We cry about not getting dessert.
Alot of what we expect is what we are used to getting. However, it doesn't make it our right to deserve this. How can we cry over such menial things when people are literally starving? freezing? homeless? living in fear for their lives?
I know when we went to New Orleans with others from our church, life was different there. We were thankful to have a place to sleep. To be able to eat and have something cool to drink. We didn't much care what the food was or what the enviorment was like. Our desire was to help others and bring them relief. We shared everything, we appreciated everything. We had a different attitude and a different mindset because we were in a different enviorment. We had different expectations. We were grateful...it showed us how to be grateful.
I think every person should be mandated to go and serve somewhere.. somehow. At least once a year if not more. We need this reminder of how privliged our lives are. We need to quit whining and having self pity and stand up and make a difference. As Beth Moore says, the very fact that I can sit here and type this..... one that I have the knowledge and two that I have the leisure time~~ well, that makes me rich !! I am rich beyond measure to so many. Yet, so many of us have come to expect this lifestyle. That in itself could be our greatest downfall.
As we continue with our study of Daniel, I am reminded constantly of how much our world is the same as it was hundreds of years ago. We have the same types of battles and situations going on now that we did then.
Something that sticks out in my mind this week is our priviliged enviorment. The things we have to come to expect and demand. The attitudes of people that think their lives are sooo hard, because they have never known what hard really is. We whine and cry over such mundane things it is really sad when you look at the whole picture of the world we live in. We are paying money to get cosmetic treatments, and then we are whining about how it hurt.... these types of things are major issues to some of us. It is sad. It is pititful.
My friend was telling me of a documentary she watched recently. It had a segment showing how some of the tribes in Africa were making mud cakes. These mud cakes were to eat for their nourishment. They added a little oil and a little water, and actually had this for their meal. We cry about not getting dessert.
Alot of what we expect is what we are used to getting. However, it doesn't make it our right to deserve this. How can we cry over such menial things when people are literally starving? freezing? homeless? living in fear for their lives?
I know when we went to New Orleans with others from our church, life was different there. We were thankful to have a place to sleep. To be able to eat and have something cool to drink. We didn't much care what the food was or what the enviorment was like. Our desire was to help others and bring them relief. We shared everything, we appreciated everything. We had a different attitude and a different mindset because we were in a different enviorment. We had different expectations. We were grateful...it showed us how to be grateful.
I think every person should be mandated to go and serve somewhere.. somehow. At least once a year if not more. We need this reminder of how privliged our lives are. We need to quit whining and having self pity and stand up and make a difference. As Beth Moore says, the very fact that I can sit here and type this..... one that I have the knowledge and two that I have the leisure time~~ well, that makes me rich !! I am rich beyond measure to so many. Yet, so many of us have come to expect this lifestyle. That in itself could be our greatest downfall.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Truth from Os Hillman
This was a great reminder to me, so I am sharing it with all of you. I cannot say this is true of me, but would like to achieve this disciplined life.
They're Always Watching and Listening
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2, by Os Hillman 02-12-2008
"About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them" (Acts 16:25-26).
"It didn't take long for non-believers to realize I was different in the secular workplaces where I've worked. I didn't participate in the jokes, the dirty language, or criticism of management. I didn't judge them for their behavior because they were merely acting the way they should act as one who does not have Christ in their life. I viewed them as prisoners awaiting their salvation and that I might be the instrument to lead them to my Savior.
I would often be known as the "religious guy." It wasn't because I was particularly vocal or I tried to separate myself; it happened naturally. The Christ in me naturally made me stand out. Jesus called us to be the "salt and light" of any life situation. The secular workplace economy is contrary to the Kingdom of God economy so we should naturally stand out in any situation.
When Paul and Silas were in prison their lifestyle of worship and prayer in the midst of the horrible conditions of a dirty prison stood out in stark contrast to their circumstances. They didn't pray and sing to impress their cellmates, they simply did what was natural to them. Still, "the other prisoners were watching and listening."
No matter where you are, others are watching you to determine if your faith is real or if you're an imposter. The world is looking to discredit your faith. You are a witness always whether you choose to be or not.
"The jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling before Paul and Silas. He then brought them out and asked, 'Sirs, what must I do to be saved?'" (Acts 16:29-30). When you begin to reflect the love and power of Christ in your life you won't have to have an evangelism program to win others into the Kingdom. It will be a fruit of your life. The "fish" will actually jump into the boat!
Beware how you conduct your life today. Because people are watching and listening."
They're Always Watching and Listening
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2, by Os Hillman 02-12-2008
"About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them" (Acts 16:25-26).
"It didn't take long for non-believers to realize I was different in the secular workplaces where I've worked. I didn't participate in the jokes, the dirty language, or criticism of management. I didn't judge them for their behavior because they were merely acting the way they should act as one who does not have Christ in their life. I viewed them as prisoners awaiting their salvation and that I might be the instrument to lead them to my Savior.
I would often be known as the "religious guy." It wasn't because I was particularly vocal or I tried to separate myself; it happened naturally. The Christ in me naturally made me stand out. Jesus called us to be the "salt and light" of any life situation. The secular workplace economy is contrary to the Kingdom of God economy so we should naturally stand out in any situation.
When Paul and Silas were in prison their lifestyle of worship and prayer in the midst of the horrible conditions of a dirty prison stood out in stark contrast to their circumstances. They didn't pray and sing to impress their cellmates, they simply did what was natural to them. Still, "the other prisoners were watching and listening."
No matter where you are, others are watching you to determine if your faith is real or if you're an imposter. The world is looking to discredit your faith. You are a witness always whether you choose to be or not.
"The jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling before Paul and Silas. He then brought them out and asked, 'Sirs, what must I do to be saved?'" (Acts 16:29-30). When you begin to reflect the love and power of Christ in your life you won't have to have an evangelism program to win others into the Kingdom. It will be a fruit of your life. The "fish" will actually jump into the boat!
Beware how you conduct your life today. Because people are watching and listening."
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Prayer Time
Let Prayer Change Your Life by Becky TirabassiThis book has been loaned to me by a friend. It has been totally amazing. It is very simply written and yet the effects are profound. I can relate with this author, and see how she is changing lives all around the globe.
Just as Gordom MacDonald talks about in his book, Ordering My Private World... of scheduling your time, Becky talks about the same. She quotes MacDonald several times.
To sum things up in the book~ She is telling us how crucial it is to set aside the time to be with God. It doesn't have to be a certain time everyday, but she suggest the morning, as to start your day off right! One thing that she said that really really hit home for me is that if we had an appointment schdeuled with our pastor, or boss, or whomever~ We would not just ditch them because we were tired, or something else came up. We need to schedule God in for some one on one.
We can talk to Him all day long, but He deserves and desires time alone with us..to converse.
Becky also has a particular notebook she uses for her prayer time. It is in a three ring binder so that she can add to it..and also take out and store as it gets full. She has different tabbed sections, which you will have to read more about in her book. If you wanted to start one prior to reading her book, you could begin with some tabs titled; Praise, Thanks, Admissions, Request.... That would get you started. Also have time to read some scripture during your prayer time. She suggest Proverbs, one each day. Allow God to talk to you as part of this time as well. It may be through His word, it may be a conviction you feel. You may hear him telling you something. Write down what you feel God is speaking to you. You go to each section and write your prayer for that particular title. You can add to it.. you can move things from request to praise.... READ the book, it will tell you how to set it up.
I officially began my notebook Friday. Thursday evening I decided that I would have to schedule it in before work, as I wasn't sure I would promise and hold to my time if I did it in the evening. (So much stuff comes up!) I set the alarm for an hour early, with full belief that I had an appointment with God at 5:30.
I am not a morning person especially THAT early..but I looked at it in a new light, and did not want to miss that appointment!! I got up went to my reading spot, and began. Becky suggest setting aside an hour each day for this. I am working through my prayer journal, and I come to the time to read Proverbs. I am reading and I come to 8:17, "Those who seek me early and diligently shall find me!" The Proverb went on to say that whoever finds me, finds life and obtains favor from the Lord.
I was like a little kid.... I wrote that down as what I felt God was saying to me. Those who seek me early.... I was thinking, 5:30 is early! I feel confirmed in this! I smile and nod my head, yep! He is talking to me here! I am finding favor with God!(I get a little excited sometimes)
Well anyway, my morning goes on and nothing goes right. I end up barely clocking into work on time. As all the things were going wrong, I was thinking to myself, I am going to have to change the prayer time. It makes me too rushed in the morning blah blah blah. So I get to work and within the first hour of being there my director is suggesting to me how either I or my coworker really need to stagger our hours a bit and one of us come in an hour later and stay an hour later. BINGO! Though I believe that Satan was trying to discourage me from this hour of prayer, God just gave me the extra hour I needed! God 1 Satan 0
so yeah, I am going to let prayer change my life!! READ THE BOOK
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Love One Another
Last night at the Beth Moore study we talked about our bodies being holy vessels. They are created by God and they contain the Holy Spirit within them. God declares us as HOLY. Satan will work on convincing us this is not true. He works in many ways as we all know. However Beth made some great points last night that I want to share with all of you.
Satan's goal is to use you, and have you use your holy vessel for unholy things. He will make you think you are not holy. You will begin to act like you are not holy. We act how we think. Have you ever heard someone, or even been the one saying, " I'm not good enough" "I don't deserve it" "God can't forgive me" even as deep as saying, "I don't want to live anymore" Heard anything like it??
That is Satan on the prowl...beginning to attack. He is making a weak spot in your armour that he can break through. He is pecking away and will continue to peck as long as you allow it. Nothing thrills the devil more that seeing God's children bow to the devil himself.
After I wrote the post below...as the day went on, I realized it is an area of my life that Satan wants control. I have been real close to letting him have it, have even forfeited some hours...some days to him. I have been letting myself be convinced that I cannot overcome this problem. I have been allowing myself to feel unholy for it. He has been whispering to me and I have been falling for it. Satan does this in all areas of our lives, but especially in the realtionship area. God made us to love. He commanded us to love. If you think about it, what is one thing that would make Satan smile?? Us, breaking the commandment God says is greater than any other. To love one another. You think that the devil wouldn't work his rear off to cause us to do that? Oh yeah....he most certainly would!
Satan's goal is to use you, and have you use your holy vessel for unholy things. He will make you think you are not holy. You will begin to act like you are not holy. We act how we think. Have you ever heard someone, or even been the one saying, " I'm not good enough" "I don't deserve it" "God can't forgive me" even as deep as saying, "I don't want to live anymore" Heard anything like it??
That is Satan on the prowl...beginning to attack. He is making a weak spot in your armour that he can break through. He is pecking away and will continue to peck as long as you allow it. Nothing thrills the devil more that seeing God's children bow to the devil himself.
After I wrote the post below...as the day went on, I realized it is an area of my life that Satan wants control. I have been real close to letting him have it, have even forfeited some hours...some days to him. I have been letting myself be convinced that I cannot overcome this problem. I have been allowing myself to feel unholy for it. He has been whispering to me and I have been falling for it. Satan does this in all areas of our lives, but especially in the realtionship area. God made us to love. He commanded us to love. If you think about it, what is one thing that would make Satan smile?? Us, breaking the commandment God says is greater than any other. To love one another. You think that the devil wouldn't work his rear off to cause us to do that? Oh yeah....he most certainly would!
Life Struggles
I pretty much get along with everyone all the time. I have friends that are completly different from each other in all sorts of ways. I love them all dearly. I love people in general. I have a very forgiving heart. I cannot stand conflict. I don't hold grudges. I am a peacemaker.... That is why it is making me crazy that I cannot get along with this one particular person. I want to get along with them. I have the desire.... This person I am talking about can be the nicest caring person ever~ and yet this person can be so controlled by mean thoughts and hateful motives that it makes me nuts! The odd thing is, the person is not necessarily this way to me, but quite obviously is this way to others. I see it, and I cannot stand it. I have made effort to point some of it out, but they see nothing at all that they have done wrong. It makes me have really not nice thoughts.
Have any of you ever had a situation like that? It is hard at times to keep yourself disciplined to be nice, let alone holy! I feel like I have tried everything, and I am lost as to what to do. My husband tells me, "you just can't change some people, so you need to quit trying." He is right about that. BUT..... I didn't think I was trying to change the person, but maybe he is right about that too. Maybe I am trying to make this person be someone I can get along with instead of figuring out how to deal it and keep my own sanity.
I have prayed and prayed about it. I have failed many days of "loving the unlovable". I know that God is refining me and making me to be more like what He wants, by putting this in my life. I know that I obviously have not learned the lesson yet, as it keeps coming up.
It is amazing to me that I can allow one person to grate against me so much and yet I have overcome huge obstacles to be where I am. I am just going to ask you guys to please be praying about this with me. I just have to lay it out there, and lay myself out there and confess that I am truly struggling with this. I am sure that Satan is loving the emotions and feelings I am having. That alone should be great motivation for me to get past it! You know what.... maybe I will make that my focus. Everytime I have to deal with this person~~ and I feel those feelings creeping up on me~~ I will tell myself that I am child of God, and I refuse to allow Satan any glory.
I always feel better after being able to write and rationalize.
Have any of you ever had a situation like that? It is hard at times to keep yourself disciplined to be nice, let alone holy! I feel like I have tried everything, and I am lost as to what to do. My husband tells me, "you just can't change some people, so you need to quit trying." He is right about that. BUT..... I didn't think I was trying to change the person, but maybe he is right about that too. Maybe I am trying to make this person be someone I can get along with instead of figuring out how to deal it and keep my own sanity.
I have prayed and prayed about it. I have failed many days of "loving the unlovable". I know that God is refining me and making me to be more like what He wants, by putting this in my life. I know that I obviously have not learned the lesson yet, as it keeps coming up.
It is amazing to me that I can allow one person to grate against me so much and yet I have overcome huge obstacles to be where I am. I am just going to ask you guys to please be praying about this with me. I just have to lay it out there, and lay myself out there and confess that I am truly struggling with this. I am sure that Satan is loving the emotions and feelings I am having. That alone should be great motivation for me to get past it! You know what.... maybe I will make that my focus. Everytime I have to deal with this person~~ and I feel those feelings creeping up on me~~ I will tell myself that I am child of God, and I refuse to allow Satan any glory.
I always feel better after being able to write and rationalize.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
old post, timely reposting
Thursday
I really wanted to write something tonight... but now I feel blank.I am feeling somewhat out of sorts and a little awkward about some things in this world. I know God is good, and he does all according to His purpose,and it is for good as well.... but sometimes I feel sad about stuff that is going on. I have felt that way today.
Somebody decided life was more than they could bear, and so a tragedy occurred today. A tragic tragedy, and it makes me sad. I have prayed a bunch about it today. At one point I was just totally stopped in my tracks and an overwhelming need to pray for this family fell upon me. I have to have faith that God will hear my cry and wrap them in His arms. I have to have faith that good will overcome evil. But even sitting here right now, I can't make my tears stop.
Even though I trust God, I am overwhelmed with sadness. Not only for them, but for all who suffer...who have had the grief of a broken heart. I know that I have been there. It seems things will never again be normal when you are at that spot.You know what was amazing about today though ?
I came home and the devotion for today was titled, Christ grieves with Us.
It spoke of John 11:35 "Jesus wept". It goes on to say that "Those two words are full of rich meaning. It's comforting to know that our Savior has such a tender heart. When we are at our lowest, Christ sits with us, holds us, and weeps with us.
"Even though I still feel sad, I feel better. I feel better not only that God gave me this verse today of all days...but I especially feel renewed to know that Jesus wept...he understands. The pain of others loss was felt by Him, and he displayed it openly to them, He grieved with them. He did not stay in His grief, but he certainly allowed it.
Take a moment today and reach out to those who are suffering... say a prayer for those who are hurting, say a prayer for this family...lift them up to the One who understands pain and suffering more than all of us, to the One who grieves with us..... and let Him calm their heart. I love you guys!
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