There is a plan already made for us.

Saturday! My first Saturday in I don't know how long, that I have nothing I HAVE to do. I told myself last night I was going to sleep late, hang around and not be worried about anything at all. So I woke up this morning and I tried to just lay in bed and be lazy..snuggle up with my blanket. I turned this way and that way.. I stretched out, I curled up, I laid in the middle of the bed, on my "side" , on Greg's "side"... everything felt totally comfortable, I was all set to do nothing at all. I was looking forward to it!

It just wasn't happening though. No matter how comfy I felt, I kept trying different positions. For some reason, nothing kept me satisfied very long. Nothing seemed to be what I had imagined to be, or desired it to be. Was I going to give up?? NO way! This was the day I had been waiting for! Freedom to do whatever I pleased.

I was lying there thinking how typical this would have been of my past life. Searching and searching for the thing that would make me happy, fulfilled... content. I tried everything. I looked everywhere. I was sure that there was something out there that would make this world what I had imagined it would be like as an adult. The thing is, nothing I tried or did really ever met the cravings I had. Did I give up? NO way! This is what I had been waiting for! Freedom to do whatever I pleased.

God kept trying to play this part in my life. He kept trying to show me a way that would be fulfilling... but I knew more. I knew that there was more to life out there, I just had not found it yet. I ignored Him. I continued on my search and had my own goals. Nothing really changed though. Oh, I could find things that seemed to be what would make me happy. The thing is they were so temporary, and always resulted in unhappiness somehow or another in the end.
When I let all go, all my pre-conceived notions... and I honestly gave God the opportunity to love me, to show me love and happiness, WOW! Things are amazing. Seriously amazing. I learned about loving God. I started falling in love with God, like you would anyone that you have a true connected relationship with. I never realized that I could love God. I knew I was supposed to. How different was this feeling! It spread to other areas of my life. I began seeing things differently. I began seeing how wonderful and fun and awesome life is. I began to understand that you can't always have a plan. Sometimes you have to let the plan have you.

So, reluctantly... I threw the covers aside this morning, and rolled out of bed. I am so glad I did! This is going to be a great day, I have been blessed!

I wanna be a child of the LIGHT

We have Internet!! Wow, to live back in the day without it... I dunno. I miss the contact I have with people via the net. So, I am back in business here and ready to get writing!!

Another big thanks to all the wonderful people who went out of their way to help us these last couple of weeks! Huge thanks to my sister Carolyn, who packed things, moved things, primed, painted, cleaned..you name it. The girl never stops, puts me to shame time and time again! I love that she has so much energy though! A blessing for me :-)

I have had time to absorb God's word over the last couple of weeks. It has been pleasant. Sometimes we get so caught up, we just throw a few minutes here and there..but don't truly take the time to read, study, and absorb His word. It is sorta funny to me sometimes how I might have read something many many times over a vast number of years, and then BOOM. I understand what it says. God's word has this effect on me. I know that His word never changes...so it must be me! I am so thankful that God has given that opportunity, to change. Not everyone allows it. Some people hold onto things that have happened, words said, wrong actions taken....... and they just keep on holding on. They can't see past the incident, and everything just stops for them there. I have been guilty of it myself. There was a person that I was like this with for years. YEARS, even after becoming a Christian. I heard her name and would cringe. The thought of her just made my blood get hot. It is so crazy. She has no idea the amount of time I have spent allowing a particular event to define her for me. She has no idea, and I seriously doubt that she cares at all. I however, kept it alive and updated. Refreshing my mind with continual bad thoughts and hurt feelings.

I can only imagine how horrible my life would be right now, if God were like that to me. If He never gave me another chance. If He didn't care to give me the opportunity to change. If He didn't even try to move past my failures, my sins.

We should be following the example that was given us. We cannot be the same person we once were. We cannot assume other people are the same as they once were. It is like the Bible talks about in 1st John, the outside of the cup being clean, but the inside never touched. God looks to the inside, He looks to the heart. He knows your heart. Do you need to give someone another chance? Do you maybe need to not give another chance, but let go of the hurt and anger and pain it caused you? Do it. Don't allow someone else to steal your JOY in Christ. You can't be in the dark and in the light.