"Jesus Wept"

I really wanted to write something tonight... but now I feel blank.

I am feeling somewhat out of sorts and a little awkward about some things in this world. I know God is good, and he does all according to His purpose,and it is for good as well.... but sometimes I feel sad about stuff that is going on. I have felt that way today.

Somebody decided life was more than they could bear, and so a tragedy occurred today. A tragic tragedy, and it makes me sad. I have prayed a bunch about it today. At one point I was just totally stopped in my tracks and an overwhelming need to pray for this family fell upon me. I have to have faith that God will hear my cry and wrap them in His arms. I have to have faith that good will overcome evil. But even sitting here right now, I can't make my tears stop. Even though I trust God, I am overwhelmed with sadness. Not only for them, but for all who suffer...who have had the grief of a broken heart. I know that I have been there. It seems things will never again be normal when you are at that spot.

You know what was amazing about today though ? I came home and the devotion for today was titled, Christ grieves with Us. It spoke of John 11:35 "Jesus wept". It goes on to say that "Those two words are full of rich meaning. It's comforting to know that our Savior has such a tender heart. When we are at our lowest, Christ sits with us, holds us, and weeps with us."

Even though I still feel sad, I feel better. I feel better not only that God gave me this verse today of all days...but I especially feel renewed to know that Jesus wept...he understands. The pain of others loss was felt by Him, and he displayed it openly to them, He grieved with them. He did not stay in His grief, but he certainly allowed it.
Take a moment today and reach out to those who are suffering... say a prayer for those who are hurting, say a prayer for this family...lift them up to the One who understands pain and suffering more than all of us, to the One who grieves with us..... and let Him calm their heart. I love you guys!

Let it be done accordingly

Has God ever asked you to do something you never expected to do or put you in a situation you did not understand? Have you ever wondered what good could come or how you might survive the circumstances?

I was reading the scripture below and thinking about when I went to the theater to watch the movie The Nativity Story I was amazed by the total faithfulness and willingness of Mary. Imagine the strife she had to endure, the name calling, the shunning....It did not matter to Mary because she knew and God knew what the real story was.

We tend to get so caught up in the world and what people think of us, we start forgetting what God thinks...what He knows to be true. What we know to be true.

I have been having this "situation" with a person, and it has made me feel uncomfortable. In my flesh I just want to get away from the person, I don't understand their motives, It hurts my feelings when they are not nice. I do not want to endure any of the feeling it brings up in me, or even to have to be put in the situation. This is not really an option for me though. And I do know that God puts me in places He wants me...for a reason, a purpose.

This is just a very small example of being in a situation and having the ability to let Christ rule or let myself rule. I have let myself rule quite a bit in the past, and frankly it is quite stressful. I am praying each day to let God be in control of it. I also know that my actions and my words are going to have a lasting effect on this person spiritually. I cannot "talk the talk" and not "walk the walk". As I read about Mary in the scriptue below... and I think of what she endured and yet her attitude was, her words were; " I am the handmaiden of God, So let it be done according to me as you have said." . She didn't care what people thought or said or how they treated her. She had faith in God, and His plan. She allowed herself to be used as God saw fit for the benefit of others.... for His ulitmate plan. She held her head up high and professed her faith.

I want to be like Mary.

Luke 1:27-37 "... and the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a town of Galilee named Nazerth. 27 To a girl never having been married and a virgin engaged to be married to a man whose name was Joseph, a descendant of the house of David; and the virgin's name was Mary. 28 And he came to her and said, Hail O favored one! The Lord is with you! Blessed are you before all other women! 29 But when she saw him, she was greatly troubled and disturbed and confused at what he said and kept revolving in her mind what such a greeting might mean. 30 And the angel said to her, Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found grace (free, spontatneous, absolute favor and loving-kindness) with God. 31 And listen! You will become pregnant and will give birth to a Son, and you shall call his name Jesus. 31 He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High; ... 34 And Mary said to the angel, how can this be, since I have no husband (no intimacy with any man)? 35 Then the angel said to her, the Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you and so the Holy Offspring which shall be born of you will be called the Son Of God. 37 For with God nothing is ever impossible and no word from God shall be without power or impossible of fulfillment. Then Mary said, Behold, I am the handmaiden of the Lord; let it be done to me according to what you have said. And the angel left her."

Called vs Driven

oh wow.... my nephew gave me this new book to read! How could I resist? I didn't want to so quickly break my plan of being patient though, sooooooo... I just put the other books away. Decided to be finished with them, and only concentrate on this. I consider that a half way decent trade to staying on track and being patient at the same time ;-)

OK...so, this book is called Ordering Your Private World it is written by Gordon MacDonald. I am pretty positive he might have written it for me! I haven't gotten real far, but things are just hitting me left and right of how much I needed this book! Thanks Billy!!

So far in this book I have learned about the huge difference in being driven vs being called. I don't think I am the extreme "DRIVEN PERSON" as this book describes, but I certainly fit into some of it. It is sort of funny as I am reading it, I am thinking to myself...wow, is this how Billy sees me? I so hope not! He read the book himself a little while ago, and told me that it has made the biggest influence on his life than any book ever has, minus the bible. He is now full time following the calling of ministry preparation. The book is about a renovation of your life. A quote in it by the author, "If my private world is in order, it will be because I am convinced that the inner world of the spiritual must govern the outer world of activity." He goes on to tell that if our inner world is neglected it cannot sustain the weight of events and stresses that the outer world presses upon us. He tells about people who have gained much in their outer world... academics degrees, work promotions, physical strength, beauty,toys, cars, houses.. and yet they are still empty. People have come to think the faster their day flies by, the more they have packed into it, the more they are unavailable to loved ones and private obligations due to work obligations, the more meetings, more learning opportunities... they think this is success. All of these things though make everything else be on the verge of collapse, including yourself! Don't ever, ever be to busy to maintain your private world, your inner life, your soul.

I am on page 65 and loving this book. The author writes in a style that captivates you. He is real, and he is honest. http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product?item_no=88640&p=1010575#curr Go here and click on excerpt to read a bit from it.

How, Why, Where, When....

http://www.lifeway.com/lwc/article_main_page/0,1703,A%3D161931%26M%3D200858,00.html

To those who have contacted me about how to get "here"....I don't know if you would be interested or not, but the above link is to a site that may better describe "the plan of salvation", and give scripture to back it up. I have tried to answer you as best I am capable of through emails or phone conversations... but thought the above link may be more tangible for you.

I do not want in any way to SHOVE anything at you, but truly because I care about you, I feel the desire and call to share the information with you. I will care about you and be your friend and want to hang out with you no matter what you decide regarding your faith or mine. I just do want to make sure that I have done what I can to offer you the explanations you ask about and because I think you are wonderful, I want you to have the opportunity to take this ride along with me. I understand what some of you are saying about various belief systems, and actions. I also know from my own experience how fleeting those feelings can be that they give you. It seems to me that, that is exactly what it is though, a feeling. It is great while it last, but there is no real substance to it. I know from my own experiences, something else comes along that appears right ,and then something else. So we keep trying to obtain this feeling. Instead of going with the tried and true, we go with the latest and new.

Sometimes life is not about feelings. Sometimes life is about doing what is right because it is right regardless of the feelings. The amazing thing is that when you are doing something because it is biblically right, it is amazing that ultimately..no matter if you felt like doing it or not, you end up feeling good!! I can assure you that never in my life have things been as calm and peaceful as they are now for me. After two plus years, I have still have that feeling! It follows me around, it makes me smile and laugh, and raise my hand in praise... It surrounds me, it comforts me.

It didn't just happen overnight. It wasn't easy to just CHANGE, actually... I didn't just change.... it has certainly been a process, and I have questioned much along the way. Some things I have finally realized I have to just trust. I don't have to have an answer for everything. (my dad told me that for years upon years growing up) I have to have faith though.

It took me awhile to even realize that I felt so good! It is sort of like when you have a headache, then it eventually goes away, and awhile later you are like...oh wow, my headache is gone! But when it is hurting you feel it will never go away. I think I felt bad for so long, I didn't even realize it wasn't like that anymore! Now it is hard for me to remember how bad I felt, until someone reminds me (thanks;-))
I have been open to the process. I have prayed that God would reveal himself to me, and that He would open my mind to learning about Him.... I have prayed to be given His power as He has promised...and His strength. Guess what???? It has happened.

My whole life is so totally different, and yet exactly the same! There is no way to explain all of the things that have happened to me. There is no way to explain how I feel complete and satisfied after years of wandering and searching. I finally allowed Him the opportunity, and was willing to go the extra of studying His word.... speaking with Him, trying to listen, and Kaboom~ He is taking care of everything. I am not running in circles any more. I am not trying to figure out why I even exist. I am not sad, and depressed....feeling worthless. Yeah, I have screwed up. I have even screwed up recently. BUT, the difference is that I know if my heart is right and I ask for forgiveness and make an honest attempt to change those ways.... I KNOW God is going to forgive me, and in turn wants me to forgive myself. I also know he is using those experiences I have had to allow me to help others.

This is just too much to try and even explain. It is so much better felt and understood when it is experienced on a first hand basis. Maybe what I am saying sounds corny. Maybe, as I once thought myself of others.... you consider me having gone religious on you! Gone overboard, fanatical, all that crazy stuff. You know what though, I am still me. I am just me with a reason and purpose now... me attempting to be led by the Spirit. Me as happy and complete as I ever have been. Me looking forward to each new day. Me looking forward to bringing someone else to where I am. Never stop with the emails or questions. NEVER and Always feel free to post here as well. You can post anonymously, and I have no idea of finding out who commented. I will always try to answer you the best I can. God is working on me, and making me what He desires of me. At this point though, my knowledge is lacking in many areas of being a Christian. My hearts is there though, and that is how I will guide you.

Michelle

Patience, hurry up, give it to me..I have to have it now!

I am reading three books right now, and another I want to start as soon as possible! Sometimes I struggle to keep them all straight. On top of this, I have my regular bible reading and my bible study group reading. I have such a desire to learn everything I can as quickly as I can.
This can be a real problem.

This is a real problem for me....PATIENCE. My husband pointed out to me that I have really got to work on my patience. I thought it odd for him to say that, when I was pretty sure I had patience. Other people told me I had patience. I felt like I had patience. I show patience to others..... I think the reason that I began thinking of all of the times I have had patience was due to a need to prove my patience to him. Of course, I HAD to do it all right at that moment.
(Wow, maybe I did need to work on it.)

I think in my desire to learn all I can, I am certainly not having patience with myself or with God. I am cramming all of this stuff... all of this info into my head, and not even giving it a chance to take hold. I don't even know which book told me this or which book told me that. With all of this information flying around, how can any of it find a place to call home and stay with me forever? I know little bits and pieces of many things, but I do not know the completeness of anything. These are things that need time to sink in to become a part of you, to become a practice, a way of life.

I don't even have the patience to finish one book before I start another. How can a person be so blind to their own to their own shortcomings?

Knock-Offs

I had the opportunity to witness God's plan of salvation this past weekend. I have no idea how my words impacted the person I was talking to, but my prayers are that my lifestyle does. I cannot remember who this quote is by, but I love it. "What someone sees in your life holds much more weight than what they hear in your words."

I feel so inadequate to teach someone else of why/how Jesus is our salvation...a gift from God to enable us to reach God. I believe it, and I profess it~~ but I am weak in teaching it. This is something I am working on and praying about. I do have faith that God will equip me as need be for each situation I encounter, but I also know that the more I learn and am familiar with~ the better my teaching will be.
The person I talked with believes in God, but is struggling with the concept of Jesus as God in the flesh..and yet our saviour as well. She is a sweetheart, she would do anything for anyone..I love her to pieces! I think I failed her though in explaining this. I want so much for her to experience what I am... but not because it makes me feel good or because it works for me. I have great desire for her to know this because I love her and I care about her, and she deserves it. I want her to fully know the truth, not what anyone preaches to her, or tells her. But what the bible says, what God's very own words explain to us. I think it is so important that no matter the source, you research it all on your own.

She made a good point to me about how people take scripture and make it say what they want it to. It makes it hard to trust these people, and their lifestyles speak nothing of true Christianity. Some of their lifestyles boldly tell us that ... if that is what Christianity is, I want no part of it! She is exactly right. Unfortunately these are the people who are out witnessing and making a bad name for "Christians". Anyone can claim to be anything. There are many fakes and many "knock offs' in the world. This is true of most everything. Purses come to mind for me (which is odd, since I don't carry one). People steal names, looks, and labels every day. They impersonate. There is always something about the item though that cannot be copied, cannot be faked.

Some people know they have a fake...but they figure no one else knows. They think it is okay. They think they are getting away with it. The purse looks like it, feels like it, smells like it...... but it is not the original. The person knows it, God knows it. It is totally from the inside that our truthfulness is made known. The bible says "they (my true followers) will be known by their fruits". The fruits of the Spirit of God are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness gentleness, self-control (Galatians 5). You cannot fake these things, and if you try....you will be revealed.. If you live by the Spirit, you walk by the Spirit.
If someone is preaching to you or claiming to be a true follower of Christ, I encourage you to examine them, their lifestyle. Ask God to give you the ability to discern the true from the untrue. Ask God to open your mind and let it be willing to receive His truths. Examine what people tell you. Examine yourself.

Yeah, it is true, many are deceitful...even under the name of Christ... but please realize that is not true of all. And to my friend that I spoke with this weekend, I love you dearly... and regardless of anything you believe, whatever faith you practice.. that will NEVER stop me from embracing in our friendship, and embracing you. Thanks for the good time we had together!

What do you Want out of a Relationship?

Having problems establishing a realtionship with God? I am not asking if you know Him. I am not asking if you go to church. I am asking if you have a realtionship. There is such a huge difference in knowing God and having a realtionship with Him. It only took me 40 years to figure this out. I don't want anyone else to have wander about aimlessly for 40 years.

Here is what I have learned and am trying work on and implement into my own prayer time.
Take time for solitude!! Mark 1:35 tells us that Jesus went to a lonely spot and remained there in prayer. There are many examples given to us of taking time alone to be with God. You have got to turn off the phone, the T.V., the radio....everything. Be alone, and concentrate fully on God. Talk to Him, let him talk to you. Allow time during your prayers to just be silent and listen for God to speak to you.

Not every prayer has to be like this, but try a minimum of one time daily...to give 30 minutes to God. Be alone with Jesus. Read, sing, pray, meditate. Focus on being in the present, don't allow any thoughts of what you have to do, or what you have done so far~ just be where you are. Connect.

Another thing is being honest. If you are angry with something, or happy, or sad; tell Him!! Tell Him why. He wants the honesty from you.
How would you feel if your child kept things from you, or told you something you knew was not true? God wants a close relationship and any true close relationship is based on honesty and trust. Trust that God cares enough to hear your heart. Also trust that God will do what He can to mend your emotions.... just as we will with our child. Sometimes He has to let us go through the situation to teach us, sometimes it is so we can teach someone else. Never will God put us in a circumstance that does not end up being beneficial for us.

God cares about you, about your character. He does not care about what is visibly seen, He is working on the inside... the heart, the truth of the matter.
A honest true relationship with God takes perseverance. It does not happen instantly at conversion. It does not maintain itself on its own. It is just like any other relationship, you have to work at it.

What do you want out of a relationship~ seriously think about it, right now. OK, that is what God wants too. There is nothing you can do that will better your life more in any way that establishing this relationship. What else is there you can do for 30 minutes a day that will change your life in the most postive way ever?

Walking with the Spirit

Galatians 5:16 " So I say, walk and live [habitually] in the [Holy] Spirit [responsive to and controlled and guided by the Spirit] ; then you will certainly not gratify the cravings and desires of the flesh (of human nature without God). Amplified version

As easy as what it is, I fail to ask each day for the anointing of the Spirit. I fail to ask for the Spirit to be poured into me and for Him to be in control of my thoughts, my actions, my wants and needs...... God gave ( just gave out of love) the Holy Spirit to us. His only intentions in this were to benefit us, and yet we fail to claim that benefit. If each of us woke up every morning, and before our feet hit the floor.... we offered up a prayer and in doing so, asked to be anointed with the Holy Spirit, to be filled with His presence~~ I cannot even imagine what our days would be like. Then again, sometimes we do just this, and fail to listen to what He is telling us.

Have you ever been in a conversation and begin to feel "uncomfortable"? I have. I don't always heed the advice I am being given...to turn that conversation around, or to end it, or to speak up!! This happens in all sorts of daily things. Maybe your thoughts... your actions, your purchases. If you are having a nagging feeling or something just doesn't seem right LISTEN, Part of being led by the Spirit is recognizing the Spirit and then heeding the info given. The more you do it, the more you recognize it, the more you are truly walking as Christ would have you walk.

Sometimes when I am unsure, or maybe even just trying to "get by" with something.... I will hear the verse from Luke 16:10 creep into my head, ...Unless you can be trusted in small matters, you won't be trusted in large ones ~ I think about this almost every morning when I pull into the parking garage at work. Most of the time I am running late. If I parked on the gound floor or the first floor, I know I could clock in on time. However, the rules of the hospital are that you MUST park on the fourth floor if you are an employee.
I contemplate. I think, who will know? I see tons of other employees parked anywhere they want.... Why shouldn't I? Apparently the security staff does not check... Thankfully for me, I have hidden this verse in my heart (God knew I would need it), and I remind myself that if I cannot be trusted to park where I am suppose to, how can I be trusted in anything at all? As I continue to drive through the garage..up, up, up.... I just repeat the verse in my head. It really isn't anyones fault but my own that I am running late anyway. If parking in the right spot is going to gain God's trust in me for bigger things.............. what a fool I would be to not listen and walk with His Spirit's guidance.

Big Mouth

So a friend of mine (I thought she was a friend, anyway :-)) gave me a CD set entitled, "Me and My Big Mouth". She seemed so excited to loan it to me, and with a sweet smile, said " I saw this and thought of you!" I looked at the title, and real sarcastically replied, "thanks!" (I had a very nice look on my face as well, I am sure.) Then of course she was trying to back out of it, saying.... no, no not like that, I thought you would like it, I was just kidding about it making me think of you....... blah blah blah. Who knows what else she may have said to get out of this ordeal. By that time, I had to admit and was convicted that it would be a perfect message for me to listen to. Though she was really was kidding (or so she says) I do have a problem with speaking prior to thinking. I have certainly come along way. As Joyce Meyers says, "ten years ago........ whoa ~ I may not be to where I need to be, but I am so much closer than I was!"

This CD series is by Joyce Meyer. I started listening to it today. I think I am going to like it.
It is so amazing how powerful the tongue can be! We can make people feel awesome and we can make people feel the depths of despair~ all by our tongue. What a weapon it can be and what a blessing it can be. I have more to add to this post, but headed out for now to a b-ball game at Lighthouse ! whoo hooo! I will tell you that I have a goal for this week, to watch my tongue. To think about my words. To build people up.

p.s. That friend I was talking about, that gave me the CD... she is AWESOME! Those remarks I made are totally just me joking around. I am crazy about her and so thankful that God gave me such a privilige and blessing to have her in my life! It isn't that often that someone enters your life and you just click..like you have known each other forever. To my great fortune, she is nuts about God!

Factoids

“God is marshalling his people in the
workplace as never before in history.
God is up to something. The next
spiritual awakening could take place in
the marketplace”
– Henry Blackaby

Factoids
New Testament -
Of Jesus’ 132 public appearances in NT, 122 were in the marketplace.
Of 52 parables Jesus told, 45 had a workplace context.
Of 40 divine interventions recorded in Acts, 39 were in the marketplace.
Jesus spent his adult life as a carpenter until age 30 before he went into a preaching ministry inthe workplace.
Jesus called 12 workplace individuals, not clergy, to build His church.
Work is Worship - The Hebrew word "Avodah" is root for word From which we get the words work and worship.
Work in its different forms is mentioned more than 800 times in the Bible, more than all the words used to express worship, music, praise, and singing combined.
54% of Jesus’ reported teaching ministry arose out of issues posed by others” in the scope of daily life experience.

– Lewis and Lewis, LICC

Think about your thoughts

2 Corinthians 10:5, tell us to

"Take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

So many thoughts run through my head in a day. I could not even venture a guess at the number. I was reading some information today that talked about controlling what your mind dwells on. I had never given over my thoughts to that particular thought, so it intrigued me as I thought about it. Then... I stumble upon this verse (above) that God must have decided I needed today... WOW, some of my thoughts are seriously thoughts and nothing more~ I mean, I would never act on them..I would never even tell people some of them! What is the big deal? Is dwelling the same as a fleeting thought though? That is what I have..fleeting thoughts.

Here I am, just kind of skipping along, happy that I am making improvements in my life...pleased that the Holy Spirit has convicted me of certain things, Proud of my progress in relationships... Then WHAM ! Suddenly a ton of bricks is dropped down upon me, and God tells me that If I even think the thought, the mere thought... then I may as well have committed the sin. On a scale of 1-10 they are real low at being horrible thoughts... but there they are. And there He is, showing me.

So yeah, I was reading about it, thinking "hrmmmm, I do that sometimes, ok a bit more than that.....alright, daily", then I was feeling convicted... then God decided to just to go head and confirm my thoughts...and he gave me the above scripture. Sometimes it still freaks me out how God works.

So, if I am slow to respond to you~~ give me some time as I try to actually think about what thoughts I will allow entry into my head. Think before you speak (maybe you are suppose to do this so that you can take captive your thoughts?.... I am pretty sure this is what my dad told me for the first 20 years of my life. Could he have been right??

Does anyone know where in the Bible it states that about thinking the thought is a sin..or am I just thinking that ?

complacency vs conviction

During Sunday school it was mentioned that we should be "living with the end in mind". This is something we should be doing every single day. Not in a morbid sense of the word, but living for eternity.

I have had various things happen in my life in the last month or two. These things have worked to show me that I am not living with the end in mind... I am living with Michelle in mind. I can give tons of excuses as to why I did this or that, but ultimately, when the end is here~ when I stand before the throne of God, none of those excuses are going to amount to hill of beans! Lots of my excuses are to protect others (so I claim) . IE: I didn't want to hurt their feelings... so I listened to the gossip...

Today I was walking into work and praying along the way that God would fill me with His Spirit to overcome these situations. Even if I have to hurt someones feelings...It is up to me to set the boundaries. I cannot be complacent any longer. I want to replace my complanceny with conviction. I want to know at the end of my day that I did the best I could. I want to be assured that if tomorrow never comes, it is all going to be alright. I want to leave behind the things in my life that are eternally useless. I want to be the person God created me to be. I seriously doubt that God will take into account that my intentions were good. He is going to be viewing my actions (if they are heartfelt). Intentions get you no where. I want what is in my heart, to be in my mind, to be in my words, to be in my actions, to be my life. I can't do it...as our pastor said yesterday, we don't have the will power, but through God..through the cross ~~ we can overcome the flesh. Read Romans 12

How AWESOME !

The celebration of Sharon's life was AWESOME ! I have never left a service feeling so uplifted and renewed! What a tremendous testimony, what a celebration in heaven! I was left speechless yesterday (believe it or not). I felt the Spirit of the Lord hovering in that place... I think he was whispering into all of our ears, "this was a life well lived.... follow this example, and you will be blessed". Thank God for Sharon! Certainly a true example of the man who turned his talent tenfold. As the preacher said yesterday, "hearing all of this...makes me feel like a whimp". Personally, it makes me feel like the man who went and buried his talent in the dirt.... just to keep it safe. We all have different gifts..we can't all be tenfold, but we most certainly cannot keep it buried and safe.

Unshakeable

From my devotion this morning...

"God allows circumstances to develop around your life to give your faith opportunity to be proven. It is only when we are tested in battle that we become skilled warriors. You can be confident God will allow trials to come your way through situations like an unreasonable boss, a client who refuses to pay, a false assault on your character, or a difficult relationship that requires unconditional love. These battles are sent your way to test what you know in the mind in order that they might become part of your heart.

You will discover if you have passed the tests or if you need more battles that will give you the opportunity to learn the art of spiritual warfare. Do not fear these battles that are before you. God has already given you the victory if you choose complete dependence and obedience to Him. Then you will become one of God's greatest warriors, skilled in spiritual warfare."

Imagine

Philippians 2:3-4 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourself. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also the interest of others."

Ephesians 5:2 " Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ...."

If we all did just that........... Imagine

Proverbs 23:7 " As a man thinks in his heart, so he is."

Creation Calls

WOW, had to share!!!
Compliments of Joel Harder creator of this video.

"A slide show I made for Brian Doerksen's powerful worship song "Creation Calls". Joel Harder

No one can limit you when the grace of God goes before you.

Sometimes it is hard to go from being this ordinary person that wasn't really bad, but wasn't really good either...just normal, cruising through life... and then become this new person~ a new creation. A child of God, a "Born-Again" Christian, "saved", "believer".... some say Jesus Freak ( I think that is my favorite! How awesome to be known as a Jesus Freak :-))) Lots of my friends and family are a little freaked out themselves, that I get so excited about God now. They also don't understand why there are many things I used to think were fine, and now I just cannot participate (sometimes even tolerate). It is so hard to explain that I am still, me and yet I am not me at all anymore. How could I even begin to fathom their understanding when I am amazed by all of it myself? I try to explain and I find it unexplainable. You have to experience it. I don't want people to be different around me, to feel uncomfortable, or to steer clear. I still like to act like a dork ( I am a dork!), I like to have fun, be silly, play jokes, laugh at anything and everything, enjoy life... I am still me I just have a different focus, a clear vision, a purpose, joy, peace, love, everlasting life ( who would not be giddy about that?).

Anyway, sometimes it is difficult though. I am held to a higher standard (and should be), and when I fall... well, it is thrown in my face. I wish they could understand, I will never ever be close to having it all together. I am going to fall alot. I am also going to get back up and dust myself off, and take it up with the One who I report to. I am still growing. I never plan to stop growing. I do not regret my past, for I would not be who I am. I totally believe in prevenient grace, and I know that God has had his eye on me... He has been walking beside me. He has been preparing me. Even when I was serving myself, He knew the time was coming when I would be serving Him. So really it is nothing new, it just had not been revealed yet. Jeremiah 1:5 " before I formed you in the womb... I knew you."

Psalm 139: 23-24

"Search me, O God, know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me- and lead me in the life everlasting."

Today I pray for discernment and sensitivity to areas that hinder my walk with Christ. Guide me in lying my burdens and anything else holding me back ~~ at your feet, and then leaving them there... Giving you control Lord. Thank you for allowing me that gift. Lead me to others that share the same beliefs I do so that I may be strengthened....and strengthen my witness to those who do not. My desire is to please you and honor you. I pray for the ability to understand your word fully, be enlightened by it, and let my life reflect it. Convict me of any area in my life that needs adjustment. I want to be a blessing.

The song in my head today...Lord I lift your name on high-- Lord I love to sing your praises-- I'm so glad your in my life-- I'm so glad you came to save us-- You came from heaven to earth to show the way, from the cross to grave-- my debt to pay! From the grave to the sky, Lord I lift your name on high!

I love music and I love books, I would say they are two of my most favorite activities. God did not grace me with a voice that everyone loves to hear, but thankfully, he graced me with a voice that He loves to hear!

Dancin' in Heaven

As someone posted in the family blog.....: "Surrounded by your Glory, what will my heart feel, will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still? Will I stand in your presence, or to my knees will I fall, will I sing Hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all, I can only imagine." Gary...No longer does Sharon need to imagine, but she is experiencing it at this very moment.
Her passion for the Lord was absolutely contagious to everyone that met her. The way your family has handled this trial has continued to affirm that we serve a SOVEREIGN GOD!! Thank you for your inspiration and passion in the way your family has served the Lord.....

Sharon Lesley Gettelfinger, 44, of Bloomington, went to be with our Lord on November 4, 2007, Sharon’s ceremony of life/praise and worship ceremony will be November 11, 2007, 3:00 p.m. at Sherwood Oaks Christian Church in Bloomington. Refreshments, visiting and fellowship will follow immediately in the Fellowship Hall.

~Thank You~

I like to tease people, if you know me at all.. you know that I am a clown 90% of the time.
My heart is deep though, and I love to the depths of it.

When I was reading through Sharon and Gary's journal and all the comments~ I thought how amazing it was to have the opportunity to let this wonderful soul, this awesome family know what we all thought of them. How beautiful for everyone to get the chance to say what they thought ..and for Sharon to have the ability to know (not that she would care), but what assurance of a life well lived. And for Gary, how much encouragement that has to give to his faithfulness.

It just got me to thinking that I need to make time for a little more seriousness in my life. To let other people know what they truly to mean to me. For no other reason, than just to do it. God knows the number of our days, but we do not. I should totally be taking advantage of the opportunity I have to tell the people I know and care about how much they mean..what impact they have had on my my life. I am going to make a true effort to do just that.

If I encounter you and tell you something from my heart, don't get scared or think I went wacky*** I just never want my last word, my last message to you to be anything but love. I am so seriously blessed beyond belief. Thank you God! Wow, think about all those people singing that old Ray Boltz song to Sharon...."thaaannk you for giving to the Lord, I am life that was chaaaaannngeedd. Thaannk you for giving to the Lord~ I am sooooo glaadd you gave!"

Everything

" Let everything that...everything that...everything that has breath ...PRAISE the Lord!

Help me to remember to rely upon your power. I pray that you pour your Spirit into me and help me to be who you desire. By Him, give me power and strength to overcome. I want to give you everything. I want your love to flow out of me with true sincerity and authenticity. I want to make you smile. Use me as your tool to achieve what needs done. I want to become more like you, I want to love others as you do and turn my cheek when people aren't nice. Nudge me the direction you want my path to go and pull me back when I begin to waver.

Mark 12:30 says, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." (great memory verse!) God wants all of us... our whole being. Our thoughts, our hurts, our love, our praise.... everything.

How amazing it is to know that as great as God is, I can find Him!

"If you seek him you will find him." 1 Chronicles 28:9

Going to church, yipppeeee

Sunday~ I love Sunday because I love going to church! We were talking last week at our woman's bible study about sacrifice. Our study prompted us to reflect and discuss the sacrifices we make as a Christian. I was blank.

Then I sort of had to laugh inside, four or five years ago... I could have given you an unending list of sacrifices I would need to make to be a Christian. Actually I already considered myself a Christian, so I guess they would have been sacrifices made to attend church. Even getting up early would have been a huge sacrifice for me.

The amazing thing is, none of these things even matter anymore. The "sacrifices" are things I want to do, I desire to do. It is so true that allowing God into your life, establishing a personal relationship...changes your heart, your mind, your thoughts. It does not even take effort for the change. I never understood this before. I can't explain it now. It all has to do with GRACE.

I am not doing anything different in my life due to requirements... I am doing things different in my life due to a changed heart, changed desires. Then to top it all off, my life is so full of joy and peace and love~ more than it ever has been. It is like once I quit trying to find all of that on my own, it was just handed me to me. It is funny to me now, I seriously laugh out loud....

yep, I love going to church. I wish we had it every day. I have no idea what I am going to do when our ladies bible study ends in December. Anyone interested in starting our own little group? Anyone want to see if we can do it all again? I thrive to learn God's word. I just can't get enough.

Today, my bible study gave me comfort for Sharon and the Gettelfinger family. I find it still amazing how God speaks to us. He knew that today I needed reassurance, and He gave it. The study is speaking of God's love for us in all directions; width, length, height, and depth. God's word states that this life is only a breath.... He will embrace us completely through it.

Psalm 40:2 He drew me up out of a horrible pit, out of miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, steadying my steps and establishing my goings.; Isaiah 55:9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.; Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.; Romans 8:28 We are assured and know that all things work together and are for good to and for those who love God and are called according to His design and purpose.; Philippians 3:14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward.

Thanks Sharon for showing this to all.
UPDATE: SHARON WENT TO BE WITH HER LORD SUNDAY Novembver 4th 2007 , Celebration of Life 3:00, Sherwood Oaks, Sunday Novemeber 11th

I have spent some time this morning reading the blog of Sharon Gettelfinger. http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sharongettelfinger I am sitting here with tears in my eyes.....both tears of joy and of sadness. I feel their pain, and yet I see their light so clearly. As I was reading the comments posted, I was just so in awe of Sharon and Gary's ability to be Jesus to so many. Even in her weakness and in her pain, she lets His light shine on. This was a total curve ball in their lives, and yet they are using it fully for God's glory. What a witness. What an inspiration. It makes my trials and tribulations pale. Can I even truly call them trials and tribulations? I think not. What a true legacy.

As Billye Emery wrote on that site ... from the song, Legacy ;

" ....but in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides the temporary trappings of this world.
I want to leave a Legacy / how will they remember me, did I choose to love / did I point to You enough to make a mark on things / I wanna leave an offering, a child of Mercy and Grace / who blessed Your name / unapologetically / and leave that kind of Legacy."

Wow~ I have a new focus today.

Dead Heading

I was out in front of the church one day, "dead heading" (plucking off the dead flowers) the flowers that were planted there. My mom is crazy about "dead heading" flowers ! My mom's plants look totally awesome. This is one reason why. She never leaves the dead flowers on to zap the lifeblood from the new buds. As she prunes these plants, it allows for energy to be put into the new buds. It takes so much strength for a dying flower to become a seed.. but if you pluck that dead/dying flower from the stem, it allows new growth to happen without much effort. As I was "dead heading" the church flowers, it became so clear to me why we have to dead head our own lives. I thought about how much that plant would bunch out and how great the blooms would look... what joy it would bring to others. The more we prune back, the more we bloom. If you have a branch that is dead, get rid of it. If you have a branch that needs pruned, prune it. If you have a branch that is flourishing, continue to nourish it.

blowin' in the wind

Not such a great day today. I have really been trying to do a good job of being a great witness, a nice person, and a Christian that stands apart. I think I blew it today. As I sit here right now, evaluating... I know why. I didn't pray this morning before work.

I had a bad attitude today, but tried to move past it (on my own). It ended up gaining control over me instead of vice-versa. This led me to have some pitfalls in my thinking and my actions. I allowed myself to be easily irritated. I made attempts to drag others in with me. Overall the day was not a complete failure for me, but certainly, it could have been much more in the God's will than I allowed it to be.

Like the fall leaves, I tumbled down today...I separated myself from the vine today and was lost without my lifeblood. I was just blowing about with no clear direction. (see John 15:5) Thank God that there is nothing more I need to do than to confess my sins, and repent...and grab back ahold! I don't want to blow around in the wind... I want a permanent attachment. I need that peace within .