There is a plan already made for us.

Saturday! My first Saturday in I don't know how long, that I have nothing I HAVE to do. I told myself last night I was going to sleep late, hang around and not be worried about anything at all. So I woke up this morning and I tried to just lay in bed and be lazy..snuggle up with my blanket. I turned this way and that way.. I stretched out, I curled up, I laid in the middle of the bed, on my "side" , on Greg's "side"... everything felt totally comfortable, I was all set to do nothing at all. I was looking forward to it!

It just wasn't happening though. No matter how comfy I felt, I kept trying different positions. For some reason, nothing kept me satisfied very long. Nothing seemed to be what I had imagined to be, or desired it to be. Was I going to give up?? NO way! This was the day I had been waiting for! Freedom to do whatever I pleased.

I was lying there thinking how typical this would have been of my past life. Searching and searching for the thing that would make me happy, fulfilled... content. I tried everything. I looked everywhere. I was sure that there was something out there that would make this world what I had imagined it would be like as an adult. The thing is, nothing I tried or did really ever met the cravings I had. Did I give up? NO way! This is what I had been waiting for! Freedom to do whatever I pleased.

God kept trying to play this part in my life. He kept trying to show me a way that would be fulfilling... but I knew more. I knew that there was more to life out there, I just had not found it yet. I ignored Him. I continued on my search and had my own goals. Nothing really changed though. Oh, I could find things that seemed to be what would make me happy. The thing is they were so temporary, and always resulted in unhappiness somehow or another in the end.
When I let all go, all my pre-conceived notions... and I honestly gave God the opportunity to love me, to show me love and happiness, WOW! Things are amazing. Seriously amazing. I learned about loving God. I started falling in love with God, like you would anyone that you have a true connected relationship with. I never realized that I could love God. I knew I was supposed to. How different was this feeling! It spread to other areas of my life. I began seeing things differently. I began seeing how wonderful and fun and awesome life is. I began to understand that you can't always have a plan. Sometimes you have to let the plan have you.

So, reluctantly... I threw the covers aside this morning, and rolled out of bed. I am so glad I did! This is going to be a great day, I have been blessed!