Pursuit

I am thankful that God does pursue us, even when we aren't pursuing him! His cleverness never ceases to amazes me.

I felt so prompted Sunday to go to the altar, to go for prayer... and yet I felt glued to my spot. People in our church don't go forward too much. Seems we tend to keep our hurts amongst ourselves. The really funny thing is, I had no desire to even go to church this week (nor the last couple of weeks). I just "happened" to wake up without my alarm going off, and I just "happened" to attend a service that talked about peace in our lives, and I just "happened" to have my heart repaired.

So yeah, as they were singing that last song, I had a small battle within my own soul. I was certain that the Spirit was prompting me to go forward and yet my flesh was holding me back. I kept thinking, people don't do this in our church... Suddenly it was more than just me in control and I did find myself going forward. One of the elders came with me and prayed with me. I didn't even know what to say to him, " I think I've lost my faith?" "Does God really exist?" How do you tell someone rooted in their faith that you are feeling like faith is a joke right now? I just told him the best I could at the time, and you know what? He understood. He listened, he encouraged me, he told me of his own valleys, he prayed with me, he invited me to call on him or anyone else there..to not make myself try to handle it on my own. He told me it was ok to question God. It was ok to not understand. We prayed, we hugged..and I was touched by God.

Today, I feel 500 times better. I know that there have been people praying for me, for me specifically. God has lifted the hurt from my heart. I cannot even explain the difference within me. Had these people not been so willing to intercede for me, I don't know what might be happening today. I am blessed to have God in my life and have Godly people willing to sacrifice for me. Sometimes you go through the fire and you are tougher and stronger because of it. And you know what? If I feel like going to the front for prayer, I AM GOING, cause I know that sharing our burdens and praying for one and another work!